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I just completed a full week of extreme "emo" mode. I should probably stop feeling sorry for myself soon and actually get some shit done. I'm pretty sure.. I've totally exhausted the patience of my entire network of friends (and even some people who AREN'T my friend!!) So what have I accomplished in my ultra creative phase... restarted the blog, took artsy pics, bought a Dalai Lama book (see title), and called about everyone who I knew would let me spend an hour bitching and moaning to them. It was some good stuff. I wouldn't say that I'm totally out of my funk.. still need warm weather, distractions, and some things to play out BUT I'm getting there.
What do I need from you?? Well.. I've decided to be pro-active about this warm weather thing and schedule some vacation for may!!!! Plus maybe a long weekend in April. SOOO.. Where the hell should I go?
Originally.. I thought of going to Korea (to visit my friends Nicole, Tom, and Ray) or Costa Rica (to go to Witch's Rock Surf Camp as I didn't get to go last year). But now... I'm thinking.. I'm in freaking Europe.. I should probably actually .. you know.. go to Europe.
so where sounds like a good place to be for a week?
1. Benelux - I have family friends in Maastricht which I could use as a base to go to Belgium, Amsterdam, etc.
2. Portugal - its warm... but how much beach time is too much.. especially when I'm alone.
3. Spain - see Portugal.. but slightly more interesting.
4. Italy - I could do the whole Rome - Florence - Venice thing.
5. Other = Morocco? Turkey? Croatia?
Right now.. I'm thinking of flying solo although open to acquiring a travel buddy. Thoughts? Suggestions?
March is going to be a big month for me. I got to pass my regulatory exams (I've been putting of my UK ones for a year now!), couple big deals ramping up at work, my boy Eric from Minnesota is coming to visit again (he came about this time last year) for Easter weekend and then my boy Tim is coming the next weekend to finish out the month. After that.. its the 25th birthday and full on into my quarter-life crisis.
let's finish with some emo thoughts..
My favorite emo songs from the week.
Note: As a proper emo boy, its not so much about the tempo or the genre... just how it makes you feel. 
- "You could be happy" - Snow Patrol
- "First Love" - Utada Hikaru
- "Elvis Ain't Dead" - Scouting for Girls
- "If Your Gone" - Matchbox Twenty
- "Til I hear it from you" - Gin Blossoms
- "Another Chance" - Roger Sanchez
- "If only I can get thru this" - Daniel Bedingfield (acoustic version)
- "Over My Head (Cable Car)" - The Fray
- "Dog Problems" - The Format
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"home"
The hardest bit about meeting people in London is dealing with the inevitable "home" conversation. London is a city of transient residents. No one comes here forever. At the end of the day, the majority are here to earn a big fat paycheck and then ultimately return home to build their nests. You see this in the thousands of Aussies here on their one year work visas to the eternally cycling of Poles working construction. I have yet to meet a person who says.. I love London, this is my home. Because at the end of the day... London is cursed with its moniker of "the Gateway to Europe". It really has become a Hub, one very extended layover.
And this gets me to my point.. its really freaking hard for people like myself (or my friend Erika) who don't have a home. I don't feel any connection with where I grew up (houston), it really is only home because my parents are there (which only last another 5 yrs or so, once Dad retires..I know they'll leave at the first chance they get). I don't have desire to live their again or return when I get old. In fact, I really am not sold on going back to the US ever to live. I could do it if I needed to but there really isn't anything there that makes me want to run back and lay down roots. So what about London? I love the multi-culturalism of the city and the fact that you can really go anywhere from here. But that's it. Its nice to see family every once in awhile (my cousins are 1 hr away) and I have two very close friends here (Camilla and Erika, they are basically family) and a slew of good work buddies. But if you offered me a kick ass job in Singapore or KL, I'd leave tomorrow. Ok... how about Asia then? Well, I'd love to live in S'pore or KL. Permanently however? No freaking way. I just couldn't see myself buying a condo near Orchard Road and forming a family there. It'd be great for a few years but still not the place that I see myself growing old.
So where then? I don't really know. I guess for me.. my home(s) will be the bed I sleep in at night and wherever my family is. Going forward.. it'll probably be dictated on where I find a job and even more importantly.. who I'm with. I know its unorthodox for the boy to follow the girl. But really.. it comes down to the person with the stronger convictions. And since I personally don't care where I end up (just as long as I can get on a flight and get to my parents or brother when needed), it will probably be dancing in and out of relationships until I find someone who's home corresponds with a place that I can work.
I can't help but feel a bit jealous though.. of all the people that I have met who have found this special place. This center of gravity where they can say.. Melbourne is my home or I am going back to Tel Aviv no matter what. And then I envy my friends who are already there.. Andrew who is signing on his house in Austin or Chris who is filling his house in Moline with furniture and memories. Will I ever have this? or does growing up with 3 cultures (US, UK, Indo) forever damn me to wander around the planet looking for that something.
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| still bit down after my boss gave me a proverbial bitchslap this morning. le sigh.
things I'm listening to right now:
The Hoosiers - Goodbye Mr. A
50 Cent - Ayo Technology
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the 80s
Rogue Wave - Eyes
 | Currently Reading
X-Men: The Complete Age of Apocalypse Epic, Book 2
By Fabian Nicieza, John Francis Moore, Scott Lobdell, Jeph Loeb, Larry Hama, Chris Bachalo, Warren Ellis, Tony Daniel, Salvador Larroca, Steve Epting, Terry Dodson, Roger Cruz, Andy Kubert, Adam Kubert, Mark Buckingham, Ken Lashley, Renato Arlem, Ian Churchill, Val Semeiks, Tom Lyle
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| Quite frankly, I have been at a loss for words over the last few months. I don't know if that means I've really been enjoying london or if I'm disenchanted or too busy or just bored. But whatever it is.. .I had retreated to the here and now.. only thinking and living in the next 5 minutes. So what have I been up to?
Some places that I have been since I last posted:
- Paris
- Stonehenge
- Reflex (80s bar)
- A pebble beach
- Chunnel
The summer is over now and England is starting to revert back to its true form. Rain days, grey skies, and cold winds. Maybe now.. I'll have time to chillout (I'm getting SKY satellite service on saturday so I'll actually have real tv...rather than just a DVD player and a few Korean soap opera series).
Some things that I have done since I last posted:
- watched seasons 1, 2, 3 of Battlestar Gallactica (i probably started before the last post though)
- Threw a party for my parents & brother... resulting in a lot of drink coworkers, a very high tab, and a lot of drama
- broke up a fight in the street's of Northampton. Sometimes its best to keep walking
- closed my first deal. Yep, finally something to put on the resume.. my first M&A deal in London is officially done. Supposedly having a closing dinner in Dubai sometime in the next month.
- Saw Faithless perform at Brixton Academy.
I'm still making friends here. It gets pretty difficult to establish relationships when I'm bouncng around every weekend and then squeezing work in as well. Again, once the weather gets horrible.. I'm hoping to see a lot more people. Sounds counter-intuitive but basically people will be staying in the city and there will be less distractions.
Some recent pictures:
These are just a couple. There are tons more.. (my highlights are on facebook and the entire collection will be on my flickr account shortly). I've also resolved to get back to some old hobbies. I want to start swimming more (and maybe do some meets. The head coach of Northampton Swim Club has offered me a free invitation to swim for them whenever I want). The London Film Festival started tonight and I really want to try and catch some of the films. Specifically, I want to see Rescue Dawn on Oct 27th. There are still some seats left for the screening so fingers crossed. I also really want to see eastern promises when it comes out as well as about 50,000 other films. Also, at christmas I'm hoping to get back into some gaming. (no not gambling).. I think its about time to buy an xbox360. I would get the Wii but its more of a social system and I dont have people over that much so not really worth it at the moment.
Recent shots of me & the family:
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| i have a month of posts to make up...
yes.. el suck.
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